Smith takes Hole in One in first ever sudden death playoff!

Smith's campaign to retain the Precious has survived a strong challenge from the least controversial man ever to play in the Hole in One, Simon. All tied up after 54 holes, the boys took to the 7th at Matarangi to decide the matter. Clearly Simon's sphincter had suffered extreme levels of contraction prior to taking his tee-shot which he sent into the water off the tee... he finished with a 7 which was always going to be too much to hold off the only 'professional' golfer at the tournament.

The tourney was held in beautiful conditions kicking off at Lakes. Early controversy had seen Scott chip a ball into Spid's chin on the practice tee. Only the knowledge that Scott was incapable of doing something like that intentionally avoided a Trev/Scott like Pukekohe situation...

Darcy again took the prize for being so absolutely unfathomably shit at golf to only pull in 13 stabies at Matarangi on day one. Its going to be very tough for anyone with 2 arms and 2 legs to better this performance.

Wrestling made an appearance at the HIO for the first time ever. Darcy whilst shabby on the greens proved to be a compelling immovable object in the ring of wrestling fire taking out the heavyweight division. Matt proved to be too good in the middleweights and Shawn easily took home the lightweight division. Drunken wrestling in the dark may prove to be one of the stupidest initiatives ever launched at the Hole in One, but it was certainly entertaining!

Big thumbs up for Spid for organizing this years tourney. The Lakes/Matarangi combo is a good one and the accommodation at Matarangi is spot on! Well done brother. The Blue tees on day 3 were also perfect and really showed how good Matarangi can be.

To conclude, Smith first, Simon second, Adi & Spid tied for 3rd.

Bring on the 2012 tournament which will be the decade of HIO celebration. Simon to organize.

McWilliams potential scratching

The current holder of 'the Open' has announced his HIO campaign could be in jeopardy due to throwing his back out whilst putting his clothes on. I'm not sure what fucking methodology he is using for dressing himself but clearly he's making a pretty simple task difficult.... rumors about Stevie and page 64 of the Illustrated Kama Sutra are probably more accurate to what actually happened to him.

6 Days and counting...

With 6 days out we have the usual array of last minute sad excuses for scratchings. The usual reasons continue to surface, didn't know when the tournament was as I don't own a calendar... haven't been able to escape the prison of a relationship I call my life... have work.........

Step up and emancipate yourselves for f*cks sake!

In other news, Smith hits a net 66 at Whanga, clearly he is a dodgy handicap manipulating mofo who wants to keeps the Precious......

The Countdown begins.....

Tension is building to fever pitch as we near the kickoff to the 2011 HIO! The form guide looks quite shabby for most entrants which suggests that a lot of dodgy cards are being handed in, or the more likely explanation is that you're all playing shite golf. I know I am.

The Seagull is refusing to confirm what rules we will be playing under, what format, stabies, stroke play, binkie bonkie bullshit.... he's also refusing to answer questions on what the accommodation situation will be. 

IN - Spid, Adi, Darcy, Trev, Martin, Simon, Smith, Scott, Shawn, Matt, Ben, Ant, Stephen, Campbell, Shane

OUT - Conrad, Pete


MAYBE - Chris Hocquard

Rumours are that Marty's Fonterra cheque was so big he has had his gold clubs gold plated at the same place Gaddafi used to get his pistols done....

Rumour also that Smith is spending the week before the tournie at Whangamata and will be playing Lakes in a concerted campaign to get himself ready.. controversial.

16, a very magic number!

The number 16 is clearly a very special number for most of you as it reminds you of the age you were when you lost your virginity (probably to a strange male in a public toilet, but thats ok boys....). It is also a very special number in 2011 as this is the number of contestants that have put their hand up to attend this years tournament, the biggest field ever.

3 times HIO Champion Scott Spicer will be contesting this years tournament!

This photo showing Scott leaving his job at the Waihi Walmart recently where he had announced he would be back in pursuit of the Precious this year. Despite having held the trophy 3 times, no one is sure if his before and after photo's are particularly different.....

Spid sighted leaving his golf lessons!

Needless to say beneath the hat is a 'desperate to get the Precious back' Spid... clearly he is also still suffering the effects of his time as holder of the trophy!