Smith takes Hole in One in first ever sudden death playoff!

Smith's campaign to retain the Precious has survived a strong challenge from the least controversial man ever to play in the Hole in One, Simon. All tied up after 54 holes, the boys took to the 7th at Matarangi to decide the matter. Clearly Simon's sphincter had suffered extreme levels of contraction prior to taking his tee-shot which he sent into the water off the tee... he finished with a 7 which was always going to be too much to hold off the only 'professional' golfer at the tournament.

The tourney was held in beautiful conditions kicking off at Lakes. Early controversy had seen Scott chip a ball into Spid's chin on the practice tee. Only the knowledge that Scott was incapable of doing something like that intentionally avoided a Trev/Scott like Pukekohe situation...

Darcy again took the prize for being so absolutely unfathomably shit at golf to only pull in 13 stabies at Matarangi on day one. Its going to be very tough for anyone with 2 arms and 2 legs to better this performance.

Wrestling made an appearance at the HIO for the first time ever. Darcy whilst shabby on the greens proved to be a compelling immovable object in the ring of wrestling fire taking out the heavyweight division. Matt proved to be too good in the middleweights and Shawn easily took home the lightweight division. Drunken wrestling in the dark may prove to be one of the stupidest initiatives ever launched at the Hole in One, but it was certainly entertaining!

Big thumbs up for Spid for organizing this years tourney. The Lakes/Matarangi combo is a good one and the accommodation at Matarangi is spot on! Well done brother. The Blue tees on day 3 were also perfect and really showed how good Matarangi can be.

To conclude, Smith first, Simon second, Adi & Spid tied for 3rd.

Bring on the 2012 tournament which will be the decade of HIO celebration. Simon to organize.

McWilliams potential scratching

The current holder of 'the Open' has announced his HIO campaign could be in jeopardy due to throwing his back out whilst putting his clothes on. I'm not sure what fucking methodology he is using for dressing himself but clearly he's making a pretty simple task difficult.... rumors about Stevie and page 64 of the Illustrated Kama Sutra are probably more accurate to what actually happened to him.

6 Days and counting...

With 6 days out we have the usual array of last minute sad excuses for scratchings. The usual reasons continue to surface, didn't know when the tournament was as I don't own a calendar... haven't been able to escape the prison of a relationship I call my life... have work.........

Step up and emancipate yourselves for f*cks sake!

In other news, Smith hits a net 66 at Whanga, clearly he is a dodgy handicap manipulating mofo who wants to keeps the Precious......

The Countdown begins.....

Tension is building to fever pitch as we near the kickoff to the 2011 HIO! The form guide looks quite shabby for most entrants which suggests that a lot of dodgy cards are being handed in, or the more likely explanation is that you're all playing shite golf. I know I am.

The Seagull is refusing to confirm what rules we will be playing under, what format, stabies, stroke play, binkie bonkie bullshit.... he's also refusing to answer questions on what the accommodation situation will be. 

IN - Spid, Adi, Darcy, Trev, Martin, Simon, Smith, Scott, Shawn, Matt, Ben, Ant, Stephen, Campbell, Shane

OUT - Conrad, Pete


MAYBE - Chris Hocquard

Rumours are that Marty's Fonterra cheque was so big he has had his gold clubs gold plated at the same place Gaddafi used to get his pistols done....

Rumour also that Smith is spending the week before the tournie at Whangamata and will be playing Lakes in a concerted campaign to get himself ready.. controversial.

16, a very magic number!

The number 16 is clearly a very special number for most of you as it reminds you of the age you were when you lost your virginity (probably to a strange male in a public toilet, but thats ok boys....). It is also a very special number in 2011 as this is the number of contestants that have put their hand up to attend this years tournament, the biggest field ever.

3 times HIO Champion Scott Spicer will be contesting this years tournament!

This photo showing Scott leaving his job at the Waihi Walmart recently where he had announced he would be back in pursuit of the Precious this year. Despite having held the trophy 3 times, no one is sure if his before and after photo's are particularly different.....

Spid sighted leaving his golf lessons!

Needless to say beneath the hat is a 'desperate to get the Precious back' Spid... clearly he is also still suffering the effects of his time as holder of the trophy!

Pictures in of Smith!!!

Recent photos of Smith show that his exposure to the Precious is coming at some cost, let this be a warning to anyone who wants to win this years tourney....

Big field anticipated for this years HIO!

Early confirmations as follows;
Darcy, Shaun, Adi, Steve, Trev, Spid, Smith, Ben, Matt, Campbell, Simon. Marty, Scott, Barney.
14 starters could be a record with more potential starters still in the mix.


The Seagull on the other hand has embarked on a desperate campaign of golf lessons such is the magnitude with which he wantes the Precious......

2011 Hole in One confirmed

The Seagull has announced that he will be taking control of the 2011 HIO following the controversial scratching of Conrad's Terrace Downs mission. The tournament will now be held on the 11th-13th of November at Matarangi. All of those who were at Matarangi know that this is a very low risk option and an outstanding location for a golf tournie. More news to follows in regards to participant line-up. Early news is that Shane Rush could be an entrant, he's currently training his pony to ensure it will be capable of travelling the distance from Wairoa to Matarangi. Watch this space....

Update

Conrad has pulled the plug on the Terrace Downs plan. Obviously disappointing after the effort he put in. That said if you can't meet the market then its always an uphill slog. Which leaves us in the position that we currently have no one owning the organisation of this years tournament. Someone needs to step up and take control of this. Everyone is till very keen to play in the 9th annual Hole in One Tournament. Will update you when more information is at hand.

Latest news...

The 2011 HIO has hit turbulence as withdrawals and other scratchings would appear to have compromised the plans Conrad was making for the tournie. Latest situation as far as I am aware is;

Scatched

- Spid

- Adi

- McWilliams

- Simon

- Martin

- Smith

Unsure

- Trev

- Scott
- Barney

Confirmed 

- Conrad

- Darcy

That looks like a pretty fucked up situation to me people. Conrad has made the effort to organise a tournie so I think its time everyone manned up and made it crystal clear as to their position. On the current state of play someone is going to have to quickly arrange an alternative solution.

HIO 2011

HI EVERYONE,

Well here I go to take the plunge and try to organise the 2011 HIO.
With such a great tournament held at Matarangi (thanks to Shane) I really felt I had to step up and get it sorted early so there aren't any issues with dates and people pulling out.
This early notice should also make it easier for you to tuck away some funds for the weekend.
I have made it a 3 night getaway so we can gather as a group on the final night to have a proper prize giving dinner and right old knees up.

The dates I have available are Oct 7, 8 & 9, Oct 14, 15 & 16, or Nov 18, 19 & 20.

Please get back to me with preferred dates ASAP

Conrad.