Sickman smashes the field in the far North!

In one of the greatest big screen scenes ever from Pulp Fiction, Jules enquires of Brad to describe 'what does Marcellus Wallace look like?'. Unlike Marcellus Wallace, the entire field at this years HIO does indeed look like a bitch and that is why Sickman fucked us. Because we look like a bitch. 

Coming in hot from his destruction of the Open at Tieke, Sickman had a hunger for trophies and the HIO had no chance against the most suspect handicap in golf. No amount of golf or lessons seemed to be able coax that handicap out of the 30's and so it was as the tourney commenced at Waitangi. 

Friday could have been different. The weather gods worked hard to stop Sickmans campaign before he even arrived. The storms closed roads and delayed travel. Ben's Volvo turned submarine shituation providing one of the weekends miracles as good samaritans were called upon to rescue the sinking Volvo and despite banjo's and the threat of a Ned Beattie repeat the situ was saved and DDB's 3 least employed people arrived at Waitangi. 

Waitangi saw some strong performances as everyone tried to book themselves their own room at the fab beach house at Coopers. Sadly for nearly everyone there were only 3 rooms available and every other sad cunt would have to satisfy himself sharing a room with snorers, sleeping in hallways, lounges or anywhere they could fit. 

 

Day 2 at Carrington saw the leaders consolidate their position at the top of the leaderboard and failing a miracle the final day at the glorious Kauri Cliffs was a contest of 3 potential winners. In the end no one could stop Sickman. He's the Stockholm Syndrome of golf. Congratulations on a great haul, your handicap is plummeting and the boys look forward to revenge at the 2023 Open. Graeme came in at 2nd and Adi out of nowhere to secure 3rd place. 

Big thanks to Spiddy for organising a rad 20th Hole in One. Who'd have imagined 20 years ago we'd still be going strong, well done bro!

WALL OF SHAME 

Drunkest person all weekend award for being toasted - Marty

Snoriest cunt - Marty and Smith

Freaking Spid out award for threatening to move into his bedroom - Scott 

Boss award for leaving his wife with a newborn and his parents - Mitch

Rolling Maul award for biggest women's rugby Karen's award, all who sit down to piss - Shane, Pete and Scott

Biggest tantrum award for no one wants to watch my gay Youtube video - Graeme

Paiges vagina award for most inspired come back from hell - Adi 

DILDO BAGGINS AWARD A joint award this year for Marty and Scott. The shitness of your golf knows no bounds.